On or around the 20th anniversary of 9/11 this year, I read and heard many stories recounting people’s whereabouts on the day, but mostly how they were reliving the fear that came with that horrific morning. There were also stories told of all that followed. Most powerful were the stories of loved ones missing and lost. Twenty years ago, people’s families were forever torn apart, and a sense of safety was taken from us all. Collectively we mourned that loss.
However, almost immediately during the subsequent days and years we heard about the way in which people came together. Not for everyone, to be sure. Discrimination and cruelty toward people who were perceived to come from Muslim population groups was widespread. But kindness was extended by many toward others and that helped us heal. Overwhelmingly, we were collective in our horror and sorrow and in our care and healing.
There are lessons in that experience that are applicable in today’s pandemic. In the last year and a half, we have lost a great deal. Individually, many of us have lost loved ones, and the polarizing nature of the situation has meant broken friendships for some of us, too. Collectively, we have lost our ability to move about in our communities without fear and doubt.
In the aftermath of 9/11, many found solace and peace in the kindness of others. Can we do the same as COVID-19 twists and turns, leaving us with a variety of emotions? We know from our work in understanding the impact of trauma on individuals’ lives, that healing comes in relationships with others. Dr. Bruce Perry, an expert on the impact of and healing from trauma says, “There is no more effective neurobiological intervention than a safe relationship.” Our path to healing after the trauma of this pandemic is through relationships. How are we protecting, nurturing, and sustaining relationships in our lives? Can we find the emotional energy to extend ourselves to find that path together? We have done it before. We can do it now with some good, old-fashioned kindness.
